The Dark Side: An Excerpt From When To Leave

Here’s an excerpt from my new ebook available at Amazon.

The Dark Side: Why You Can’t Afford to Stay Way Too Long

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
—Rocky Balboa

Boxers need someone else to stop the fight on their behalf. They’ve been trained to fight to the bell, to keep swinging as long as they’re still standing, to not give up until someone gets knocked out.

Pastors can be a lot like boxers. You’ve been trained to expect difficulty in ministry. You expect opposition to every worthwhile initiative you promote. You’ve read the gospels and enough church history to know that religious people can do awful things in the name of God. You understand the implications of following a crucified Lord who embraced suffering as a means to redemption.

So when you step into the ring and stand toe-to-toe with a church that tends to direct its collective anxiety, anger, and disappointment toward their minister, you expect to take a few punches. It’s part of the job. What you don’t expect is for your opponents to be wearing gloves laced with plaster.  Nor do you expect them to land so many head shots.

•    They overwhelm you with unrealistic expectations.
•    They hold you accountable for things you have no authority to change.
•    After highlighting your every mistake, they break out the list of problems they have with your family.
•    They question your integrity and assume the worst about your motives.
•    They send you hateful, anonymous emails that hit your inbox at 10pm so you see them before heading to bed.
•    They ambush you in what’s supposed to be a routine meeting.
•    They invite you to lunch to tell you that you’re not good enough to get the job done.
•    They pour gasoline on rumors and fan the flame of gossip.
•    They put sugar in your gas tank.

Because you’re faithful, because you’re arrogant, because you follow a crucified Lord, because you don’t know any better, or because no one will throw in the towel on your behalf, you keep taking punches.

You sway, you stagger, you bleed, but you keep standing.

Just like a boxer who takes too many head shots, you sustain permanent damage. Not to your brain, but to your soul. The long-term effects of soul damage can be devastating.

•    You stop dreaming.
•    You stop hoping.
•    You stop praying.
•    You lose confidence in God.
•    You lose confidence in yourself.
•    You give up.
•    You stop following Jesus.
•    You stop loving your enemies.
•    You stop trusting others.
•    You give in to fear.
•    You start hating.
•    You radiate anger.
•    You become obsessed with revenge.
•    You do to others before they can do the same to you.
•    You rationalize your use of food, sex, or drugs to cope.
•    You justify your affair by deciding that God owes you one dalliance as compensation for what you’ve suffered.
•    You lose it all.
•    Your family moves on without you.
•    You wake up one morning wondering how you became the kind of person you despise.
•    You wonder if God still loves you.
•    You start looking for a way back.
•    You spend the rest of your days pondering what might have been.

This isn’t a game. It isn’t an academic exercise. It ceased being a philosophical discussion three minutes ago.

This is your life, your family, your calling, and your faith.

Your soul can only take so many punches.

If you were a boxer, would the people in your corner be shouting at the referee to stop the fight?