In I Once Was Lost, Everts and Schaup unpack five thresholds postmodern skeptics usually cross on their way to faith in Jesus. I summarized them in a previous post.
The first of these thresholds is that the skeptic must come to trust a Christian. We live in an era of distrust. We no longer trust political leaders, executives, or our favorite athletes. They’ve let us down too many times. In the same way, it’s easy for skeptics to have a blanket distrust of anyone who calls themselves a Christian, especially based on the extremes and caricatures of Christians portrayed in the media. So in order for a skeptic to take Jesus seriously, he has to come into contact with a good ole normal Christian whom he can trust.
As we bump up against these skeptics, the authors note that it’s easy to have a knee jerk reaction to the distrust we sense from others. Usually these reactions only make things worse. The five reactions are to:
1. defend ourselves
2. let our ego get bruised
3. avoid the skeptic
4. judge
5. argue
Rather than give in to these knee jerk reactions, they suggest we develop five habits that will help us build trust with our skeptical neighbors.
1. Pray
2. Learn where their distrust is coming from. Listen to their hurts and fears.
3. Bond with them on their turf. Join them in activities that are important to them.
4. Affirm all the goodness we see in them.
5. Welcome them into our lives. Rather than argue with them, make room for them and give them the opportunity to “come and see.”
This is just the beginning of a long journey toward Jesus. Until we Christians become trustworthy in the eyes of our neighbors, we shouldn’t expect them to have much interest in Jesus.
How much time and energy do you and/or your church, ministry, or family put into building trust with your post-Christian neighbors?
Telling Stories, Asking Questions, Learning Lessons
I’ve been watching a friend grow just such a bond with an atheist friend of his. That friend was comfortable enough to visit our men’s group as we discussed how atheists view us as believers.
Having leaned too hard on the arguing/defending/apologetics side with skeptics and other outsiders, I was really convicted that I needed a new approach and our consensus was that relationship is the only answer, as the Lord demonstrated for us.
Another friend who attended the study mentioned a wonderful ongoing dialog he’s been able to start with another atheist/client, because he didn’t react as he would have in the past, defending instead of listening.
Great challenge–and words of advice.