This morning in staff meeting we talked about what I’m going to call Equipper’s Guilt. Equipper’s guilt is something I’ve had ever since I’ve been involved in paid ministry. A big part of my job is equipping others for ministry. Yet when I approach someone to partner with me on a ministry project or task, I always feel guilty for asking them. This causes me to soft sell whatever it is I’m inviting them to do, which makes the ministry opportunity I’m offering them seem trivial, which makes them less likely to be inspired enough to say yes.
Anybody else know what I’m talking about or do I just need to seek out the services of a good counselor?
Telling Stories, Asking Questions, Learning Lessons
Wade-
The definition of “guilt” is doing something wrong. As far I can tell, equipping is nothing to be ashamed of. This would fall under the category of “mis-placed guilt”.
Eph 1(The Message)
11 It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, 12 part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.
Just keep doing your thing…God will continue to Bless!
Wade- I’m a “paritioner”, so to speak, but I think I know exactly what you’re talking about.
The best I can say is – as far as I’m concerned – DON’T. DON’T soft sell or minimize to me. If there is a range of opportunity in the ministry that allows for lower or higher commitment, tell me about both possiblities. But don’t feel the need to apologize for asking me to participate in Kingdom work.
Wade You shouldn’t feel guilty whenever you ask someone to do something for the Lord. You are asking someone to partner with you to increase God’s kingdom on this earth. Even if it’s something small if God is glorifyed then there is no reason to feel guilty. It’s your job to delegate and equip.
Ky
Dude – I SO understand what you’re saying. Especially when I became the ‘preacher’ of our church in Owasso I would feel guilty when I asked someone to help me, help the church, help a program, help with this… because I knew how little time people seem to be spending at home, with family…
I remember hearing Bill Hybels go off on why it is stupid (his word) to feel guilty for asking someone to help partner in the grand work of God. And it triggered something for me. When I’m asking someone to help me (ME) I feel guilty. I feel like I should be able to do everything I see that needs to be done. When I ask someone to help the church (the local institution) I feel like I’m a personnel manager trying to get some free labor. In both of those situations something inside of me is nagging at me – a personal insecurity or a sneaking reality that what I’m asking them to do is busy work or instutional maintenance. Some of that insecurity I’ve had to get past. Some of that institutional maintenance I just ignore now – partly because I can.
But, when I invite someone to explore their calling – to find a passion God has given them or a capability they possess – and to join God on mission I really don’t feel guilty. I really do feel like I’m inviting them to do something that has changed my life entirely and that I think in the end will change theirs as well.
I used to ‘write off’ certain folks because they’re schedules were already so full until an experience I had with a friend who when he was invited into God’s mission with his love for technology he eventually rearranged his whole life.
“Yeah, well…if you do decide to maybe help me with this, it won’t take up much of your time. I could just use a little of your expertise, you know? It’s not really a big deal, there’s no pressure…but I could REALLY use the help.”
Yep, I get it.
Wade,
Just wanted to first let you know that I appreciate your blog and your comments. I was going through the internet finding links to the idea of “embracing grace” since I am now reading Scot McKnights book. I came across your blog and was excited to see all that you offer. I was also very excited to see some of the “first look” comments on Brian Mclaren’s newest book. I have been influenced greatly by his writings of late..as well as Steve Chalke…and the whole movement of emergent thinkers. I have also been a fan of Paul Stevens and now exactly what you mean with the “equipping guilt.” I often soft sell the opportunity thinking that people are way to busy when, in fact, I miss out on some great opportunities to help them discover serving. These are probably more my issues then their issues. I will keep visiting your site because I find that you read alot of what I read..and it keeps me thinking and sharp. I also am a fan of David Allen’s and his approach to productivity. Just fyi, I am a Quaker (Religious Society of Friends) pastor in North Carolina…43 years old…two kids (oldest going to college this Fall) and a wife of over 20 years who is a Registered Nurse. By the way, I love the phrase “hell-centric” – I have run into a few of those in my area.