What A Wretched Fan I Am!

This morning I took my pain from last night’s loss to Scripture. Here is my paraphrase of Romans 7:14-25.

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We know that rooting for a winning football team is spiritual, but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to the Dallas Cowboys. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, pick a new team, I do not do, but what I hate, giving my heart to the Cowboys, I do. And when I do what I do not want to do, I remember that the Cowboys have five Super Bowl rings!

As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is stupidity living in me. For I know that wisdom itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my foolish nature. For I have a desire to care about a winning team, but I cannot carry it out. For I want to feel good when I watch football, but the misery I do not want to feel—this I keep feeling. As I suffer with every loss, I am happy that Jerry Jones is in pain as well, even though my increasing joy brings me even more pain.

So I find this law at work: Although I want to ignore the Cowboys, I cannot quit them! For in my inner being, I delight in watching winning football, but I see another desire at work within me, waging war against my loyal heart and making me a prisoner to the memory of Tom Landry.

What a wretched fan I am! Who will rescue me from this endless cycle of false hope and self-loathing? Thanks be to Tebow, who sets me free to be a fan of the Broncos!