Before You Go: How Will You Be Different?

While I’ve been writing these posts with preachers in mind, I’ve had several readers tell me that they see them applying to other situations as well. Thanks for the great feedback.

When we have the opportunity to leave a job, church, or relationship for another one, it’s easy to believe that changing circumstances will make everything better. This is usually not the case. As the old saying goes: wherever you go, you’ll always be there. The question that gets lost amid the excitement over how the new job or church or relationship will be better than the one we’re leaving is: How will I be different? It’s common for preachers to change churches multiple times throughout their career, each time thinking the next church will be a better situation than the last. After a few years they find themselves in the same place they were at with their old church even though the two churches aren’t exactly the same.

Changing our circumstances has a limited effect if we we’re not also changing ourselves along the way. If you poisoned a past relationship by being hyper-critical you’ll probably do the same to your next one if you don’t make some changes. If you were always discontent at your old church because the people were stuck in their ways, you’ll likely find yourself discontent at your new church for a completely different reason. Discontent people can always find something to be grumble about.

I’ve worked in three very different church environments: a small church in the Pacific Northwest, a medium sized church in the Midwest, and a church plant in Central Texas. No matter the setting, there were three constants: my strengths, my weaknesses, and my “issues” that kept me from finding psychological peace. When I left Tulsa and came to Austin to plant a church I believed that my biggest problem was that I wasn’t meant to work in established churches and I would have a different ministry experience in a start-up environment. Turns out the same guy who burned out on ministry in Tulsa showed up in Austin to plant a church. I realized now that the biggest mistake I made in the transition between Tulsa and Austin is I didn’t do the necessary inner work to have a shot at being a new and improved version of myself when I started the new project.

I can think of several situations where a change in scenery was all that a person needed to flourish. But most of the time, if we don’t change who we are when we move on to something new, the only thing that’s really going to be different is our zip code.

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